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Whether dealing with a deviously critical mother, a deliberately incomprehensible professor or an envious co-worker, how do you resist the tendency to "keep the peace," to forgive and make excuses for them—to apologize for the good within you? How do you remain morally true to yourself? How do you avoid granting them the "sanction of the victim"? In this course Dr. Kenner provides how-to advice on detecting and counteracting intentionally manipulative people.
   With an abundance of examples—drawn from both real life and fiction—she explains the subtle methods by which manipulative people gain psychological footholds. Rather than being formal lectures, these six sessions include frequent questions from the students as well as staged confrontations in which Dr. Kenner plays the role of a manipulator. Though she sketches out some of the psychological principles involved, her central purpose is to teach practical skills that can help you maintain your integrity, pursue your happiness and navigate safely through the traps of would-be manipulators.
[Audio; 5-tape set, 6 hrs.]

We've all faced that split second when we must decide whether to speak up and defend our values... or let the moment pass. On a wider scope, there is also our long-range desire to fight for a healthier, more rational world. But if we let such moments or opportunities slip by, it takes a psychological toll on us. This course will cover common psychological barriers to action, offer motivational tips on picking your personal "battles" and avoiding errors, and suggest ways of practicing these new skills.
   Ayn Rand said that "anyone who fights for the future, lives in it today." This course will help you to assertively and effectively defend your values with family members, classmates, coworkers, friends or in some public forum. We will also explore the personal benefits to you, for example, increased confidence, enhanced benevolent universe premises and a wider integration of your knowledge—both in content and method. Finally, this course will help you increase your self-respect and solidify a sense of earned pride.
[Audio; 3-tape or 6-CD set; 4 hrs., 18 min., with Q & A]

This is a good introduction to cognitive therapy. Dr. Burns offers many practical techniques to help you lift yourself out of a depression, to reduce your anxiety and to strengthen your communication skills. Overall an excellent book for learning clear thinking methods. However, I disagree with the author on some of his underlying premises and I don't recommend his book Ten Days To Self Esteem.

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Aside from the philosophical junkyard of chapters 1-3, this book is chock full of simple good tips – e.g., good study skills, identifying and pursuing healthy goals to bring you pleasure, keeping friendships fair – with a lovely undercurrent of egoism despite occasional nosedives. The mix of good and bad ideas makes  me wonder if one author was philosophically healthier than the other. This book offers valuable thinking skills and is a good one to keep in your reference library.

A timeless gem that is well worth reading. He has an extrodinary understanding of how to communicate to get ideas across, how to listen with the purpose of understanding another person, how to deal with heated emotions in conversations, how to detect and deal with another person's irrationality, how to hear mixed contexts in conversation and much more.

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If you've had the nightmarish experience of having been sexually abused and you don't know how to deal with the multiple levels of disturbed feelings you have, this book offers many excellent suggestions. These include recognizing that you can heal, that you don't need to remain a victim for life, recognizing the damage that the abuse has caused in your life, understanding what you did to cope with the abuse, learning how to break the silence, attributing blame accurately, dealing with your feelings of anger, appropriately rebuilding trust (in yourself and with others), and gaining closure and moving on. Although there are sections with which I strongly disagree (e.g., on having  a sense of  power greater than yourself), this book offers excellent suggestions,  examples and exercises. It helps you learn to change "internalized messages" such as "I hate myself" and "What I want doesn't count." The authors encourage learning to live for yourself: "If you are still trying to please others, if you are still hoping for someone else's approval, then you will never be smart enough, thin  enough, successful enough…Try putting aside your father's expectations. Stop comparing yourself to your friend. Think about what you like to do, whom you  like to spend time with, what you find worthwhile." If you've been seriously traumatized, I recommend using this book in conjunction with a counselor.

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Ben is 71 years old; he aches all over. His golfing buddy just died and his wife is recovering from breast cancer. His children and grandchildren don't seem to need him anymore. Ben has given up, "I feel half dead already."
Marissa, age 36, has gone through her second divorce. Both of her hus-bands were abusive alcoholics. Her father, starting at age 6, had sexually molested her. She feels worthless. "I'm no good," "I'm a failure," I'm never going to get better," "My life is hopeless," "I may as well  kill myself." She has one child, age 18.
Linda, age 29, is a competent professional. She was offered a promotion as a regional supervisor; a promotion involving frequent flying. Just the thought of flying  leaves her in a cold sweat, with her heart pounding and gasping for breath. She has had several panic attacks each week. But why, Linda asks? "I support myself, I've managed to buy a small condo, I have good friends and a supportive family, I don't drink or use drugs, I've always lived a good life-why is this happening to me?"
Vic is a 49 year old recovering alcoholic with anger management problems. He feels he has to be perfect. His anger, his perfectionism and his alcoholism are destroying his relationship with his wife, Judy.
These are the four individuals whom you will meet in this workbook. Ben and Marissa suffer from  depression, Linda is struggling with panic attacks, Vic is dealing with alcoholism, anger management problems and perfectionism. These individuals want to change, but they don't know how to break out of the thinking  patterns that are destroying their lives. The authors of this workbook give them the means to do just that, to learn and automatize new thinking methods. It is fascinating to watch Ben, Marissa, Linda and Vic learn to  challenge their old thinking patterns, learn healthy thinking methods and improve their lives.
What are you struggling with in your life? What patterns in thinking have held you trapped over the years? How can you develop and automatize a new way of seeing things that helps get you out of ruts you have maintained over the years? Drs. Padesky and Greenberger give you practice in learning how to make sense of your moods, to identify your own irrational thinking and to base your thinking fully on facts. They even give you a means to challenge old thinking patterns that you developed as a child. I saw Dr. Padesky demonstate these skills at a  cognitive therapy conference. I walked away very impressed with her warm, sincere, knowledgeable, creative and rational approach to helping people change. I am delighted to recommend this workbook.

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I want to whet your appetite for this fabulous book. Would you like to lose weight? Absolutely! You’d love that slimmer physique you once had. You’d love to look at yourself naked in the mirror (or step on the scale) and be pleased. You’d love to buy smaller size clothes. Your back would feel less achy if you shed some pounds and firmed up some muscles. But you also love your pasta and your heapin’ helpins’ of meatloaf and mashed potatoes—and your “death-by-chocolate” cake. You love your comfort foods.

How do you even begin to shed some pounds? Dr. Judith Beck’s book may be the recipe you’re looking for. In it you will learn thinking skills that will help you maintain weight loss “for the rest of your life.” She gives you methods (in six-week plan) to identify and counter self-sabotaging thoughts (e.g., I’ll just have this one cookie.) She helps you identify all the personal benefits to you of losing weight—and gives you a method to keep these benefits, not at the edge of your mind, but center stage. These benefits are your mental fuel to stay on track. You will learn how to give yourself credit for every healthy choice you make, however small. You will also learn to tell difference between hunger, desire and cravings, to form a realistic plan (including exercise), to say “no” to food-pushers, to stay in charge when eating in restaurants, to eliminate emotional eating and to supportively get back on track if you slip up. Dr. Judith Beck helps you strengthen your desire to eat smaller portions, eat less fattening foods, find alternative ways to relax…and to feel the pride that comes from knowing you are making yourself look and feel better—and younger. I highly recommend her book and her workbook.

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